Pixie Sticks And Blond Bomber Mishaps
by ilovemyboys
Summary: After accidentally drinking a cup of drugged tea, Deidara finally finds himself in a happy place in the Akatsuki. Rated M for Hidan's mouth.
1. Whoops

**Pixie Sticks And Blond Bomber Mishaps **

_By: ilovemyboys_

Chapter 1: Whoops.

* * *

It was a relatively relaxed day at the Akatsuki. Everyone had come back from their missions and weren't to be sent out again for another few days at least. Itachi was reading a book in the living room, Kisame was swimming out in the pond outside, Pein and Konan were doing paperwork, Zetsu was working on his garden, Sasori was working on his puppets, and Kakuzu and Hidan were arguing in the kitchen while Deidara watched with a grin on his face as he ate his dango and tea at the kitchen table.

"**I am**_** sick**_** of your attitude Hidan," **Kakuzu growled warningly.

"**Shut the fuck up Kakuzu! I'm sick of YOUR attitude, bastard!"**

"**That's it**_**. I don't have time for this."**_

Without warning Kakuzu suddenly sprang at Hidan, yanking the scythe the Jashinist carried around him at all times, and threw it across the room as it landed with a **THUD!** on the wall right over the blonde bomber's head as he quietly sipped his tea, and whose expression now read, "What the hell was that?" Kakuzu then sent a powerful punch at Hidan as the Jashinist flew across the kitchen and into the living room with a **CRASH!**

As the fight continued on in the other room, Deidara silently tried to ignore the two. It could always be amusing at first, but then it dragged on, and anyone nearby simply didn't want to be near them anymore unless they wanted a headache. Luckily, Deidara had tea which always helped his headaches anyway, but still…if this went on any longer, he'd have to leave.

Taking the last sip of his tea, Deidara closed his eyes as he tried to relax.

_I'm still sleepy…But…can't….go to sleep…need to…work on…art…_

Shaking his head, Deidara tried to wake himself up as he headed toward his room to get some clay.

**_MEANWHILE_…**

A practically beheaded,bloody mess of a Shinobi with a bent, bloody scythe lay on the floor.

"**And let that teach you to never lay a hand on my money again," **Kakuzu threatened as he walked away from the living room, now in chaos from their earlier fight.

"Huh!" Hidan spat. "See if I care asshole!" Hidan yelled.

**SLAM!**

"Damn bastard!"

Hidan lifted himself off the ground with a wince.

Sure he loved pain, but not this kind. Especially not from _him._

However, being immortal did have its advantages as any of the pain he felt now would surely be gone by tomorrow. But still…_now _it still hurt like hell.

"**That bastard Kakuzu is gonna pay for this…."**

Suddenly hearing his stomach growl, Hidan realized he hadn't eaten yet.

"Ts! Damn hunger…Why couldn't this leave me too when I turned immortal…" Hidan grumbled as he sulked toward the kitchen. "Not like we have anything FUCKING EDIBLE in here!" He shouted, making sure his cheapskate**-**of-a-partner heard him loud and clear.

Looking in the cupboard he noticed a few boxes of _healthy _cereal that Leader Pein and Konan ate. _Huh! Those two probably don't even have taste buds, _he thought. He also found an old banana that had been in there for 4 days, and some-_**What the hell?**__ Why the hell does that plant freak have to store his stuff in here too!_

Grumbling to himself, Hidan took out the least healthy looking cereal, some very likely spoiled milk, and a spoon, as he sat down at the kitchen table.

A minute went by as he grudgingly stuffed the cereal into his mouth. Hearing a door open nearby he looked up to see a very tired-looking Deidara come in and drop into a seat by the table.

"What the fuck's wrong blondie?"

Deidara gave Hidan a glare at calling him his least favorite nickname among the Akatsuki. Even "brat" was better than that.

"Nothing…" Deidara grumbled.

"So you just look like shit today huh? What, didn't you get enough beauty sleep?" Hidan taunted.

"**I would advise you to be quiet,"** Deidara muttered as he took out some clay from his cloak pocket threateningly.

"Hm!" Hidan smiled smugly. Deidara wasn't going to fight him now. He couldn't even have a good comeback to Hidan's remark. This made Hidan grin evilly.

If Deidara wasn't going to shoot off one of those annoying bombs at him, he'd have fun pushing the blond's limits.

"Hey Deidara," Hidan spoke rather loudly, hoping the blonde had a hangover like he did.

No such luck. Deidara was molding his clay now.

_Eh. At least I tried, _Hidan thought.

"So blondie!"

Deidara's movements stopped for a moment at hearing his least favorite nickname, only to start molding the clay again. He wasn't going to let Hidan get to him.

"So you had a rough night or what?" Hidan smirked.

Deidara said nothing.

"You know you can talk about it if you want…." Hidan's smile grew wider as he leaned in closer to Deidara with a grin.

Deidara looked up at him with a frown.

"You _do_ realize I have a C1 bomb in my hands _right now_, right?"

"Hahaha. Yeah you do…But have you forgotten…_I'm immortal…" _Hidan whispered that last part.

"_Like I care,"_ Deidara grumbled.

Hidan abruptly stood up. "What did you say blondie!"

"**Urrrr…GO AWAY HIDAN!"**

"Make me!"

"**Fine!"** Deidara snapped as he grabbed his clay and left toward his room with a** SLAM!**

Hidan slumped down on his chair as he sighed out in irritation.

_Damn blond. That wasn't any fun. And now I'm bored again…I don't have any sacrifices for Jashin, and DAMN IT, Kakuzu bent my scythe! Now I gotta get it repaired! _

"La la la la la la la la la," the ever-cheerful singing of Tobi came _closer…and closer..._

"Oh hell no! Not him!" Hidan's eye bulged out of his sockets as he stood up to leave.

Too late.

"HIDAN-SAN!" Tobi exclaimed as he ran toward the Jashinist in an attempt to give the immortal masochista hug.

"**FUCK OFF RETARD!"** Hidan roughly pushed Tobi to the ground, who promptly jumped back up.

"That's okay Hidan-san! Tobi just wanted to say hi!"

"**Like I give a f-"**

"Oh Hidan-san! Tobi has bad news! Zetsu-san is sick! But don't worry! Tobi is here to take good care of him! Tobi is going to make him tea!"

"**You think I care what the f-"**

"Do you want some tea too, Hidan-san?"

"**No I don-" **Hidan stopped as he noticed Tobi get a mug out from the cupboard and set the tea kettle on a stove burner.

Actually…tea didn't sound that bad. It was one of the few things around here that actually had any taste.

"**Yeah, get me some tea Tobi!"** Hidan ordered the masked-nin.

"Righteo!" Tobi replied happily.

After a few minutes the tea was done.

"Alright Hidan-san! The tea is ready!"

"It's about damn time," Hidan snapped.

"Here you are!" Tobi set down the tea in front of Hidan, then got up and poured Zetsu a cup and walked over to the cabinet as he poured out a powdery substance into Zetsu's tea.

Hidan frowned. "What the hell is that?"

"Huh? Oh! Zetsu-san said to add this to his tea! He said it helps with 's all Tobi knows, haha." And with that the masked-nin left the room.

Hidan had enough tea as he set it down on the table with a _thud! _Looking around he saw nothing at all that interested him. Even Jashin-sama said he wanted a break from Hidan's prayers, and without his scythe he couldn't do a damn ritual. Huffing in place like a child throwing a tantrum, Hidan was about to get up and find _something _reasonably interesting to occupy his time with when he noticed the bag of medicine Tobi left. Walking over to the bag, he picked it up.

"What kind of medicine does a plant freak have anyway? Let's see…_Blah, blah, blah._ Huh! This doesn't tell me anything! Causes-_blah blah_-wait a second."

Re-reading over the directions Hidan caught sight of something that got his attention that soon brought about a large grin on his face. "Hahaha. This is fucking hilarious! Wonder what plant-man would be like if he overdosed…Hahaha. I wonder if I can somehow "help" Zetsu out today. Better plan this right..."

After about half an hour Tobi came in again, happily holding an empty cup of tea. By the looks of it, Tobi wouldn't leave until he saw Zetsu had drunk it all. A very disheveled looking Deidara then came back in, hunched over, as he went straight toward the fridge. Opening it he muttered some distasteful curses, then shut the door roughly.

"Didn't find any edible shit either, huh?" Hidan asked.

"**Un,"** Deidara grumbled.

"How about some tea, Deidara?" Tobi asked eagerly.

"No thanks," Deidara muttered.

"But Deidara! Tobi knows it will make you feel better!"

"Tobi, shut up! I don't have time to deal with you right now," Deidara glared at the masked-nin.

"Okay!" Tobi smiled cheerfully as he made his way over to the tea kettle.

Noticing Tobi about to pour some tea, Deidara glared an eye in the masked nin's direction as his head rested on the table.

Tobi walked toward Deidara as he held out a steaming hot mug.

"Here you are Deidara!"

"I told you I don't _want _it Tobi! Go away!"

"But Deidara, it's good!"

"I don't care! Take it away!"

"You know it actually does taste decent. Better than anything else we have here," Hidan replied coolly as he took a sip.

"See? Hidan thinks it tastes good, Deidara!"

Deidara gave Hidan a glare saying, _**Thanks a lot!**_

Hidan only smirked.

"Come _oooooon _Deidara! Do it for Tobi?" Tobi asked with anticipation.

Deidara looked like he was about to throw one of his works of "art" at Tobi before settling down and calmly asking, "What kind is it?"

"Um…Tobi doesn't know…uh...Hold on! Tobi will check the package!"

"It's green tea," Hidan answered.

"Aha! It's green tea!" Tobi beamed.

"Un," Deidara mumbled.

_Maybe having some tea would help wake me up after all…_Deidara thought. _**And**__ I won't have to deal with Tobi's pestering…_

"Fine! If it'll make you shut up, dumb ass…"

"Yay!" Tobi cheered as he rushed straight away toward the kettle. As he was about to pour some tea, when a loud whine could be heard, crying_**"TOBIII…"**_

"Oh no! Zetsu! Hang on!" Tobi immediately set down the kettle as he ran out the door, leaving the white powder on the counter, while Deidara held his head.

"You look like shit you know."

"**Shut up Hidan," **Deidara's muffled voice growled under this arms.

"Hahaha…" Hidan snickered. When suddenly an idea hit him. It was perfect. And now was his chance.

Standing up, Hidan went and poured himself more tea. Then, glancing down at Deidara, he added, "So you want that tea or what?"

Deidara slowly looked up at him with a deadpan expression.

"What?" Hidan asked casually.

"Why are you _offering _me tea?" he asked suspiciously.

"I'm fucking bored! Why else!"

"Un," Deidara muttered. _"Fine."_

He didn't feel like arguing with Hidan again.

Carefully pouring himself some more tea, Hidan quickly poured in the white powder into Deidara's own mug, swishing it around to mix it all together. Then, placing the drink in front of the blond bomber, sat down with his own mug.

"What? Not even a fucking thank you?"

"_Like I care,"_ Deidara muttered, bringing the mug to his lips as Hidan took a sip of his own, looking over the rim of the mug at the blond bomber with a grin.

After about five minutes Deidara began to feel sleepy and went to his room to lie down, leaving Hidan alone once more.

….

Slowly waking up, one blond member of the Akatsuki immediately felt his spirits rise. He no longer felt drowsy, but in better spirits than ever before! Lifting his feet off his bed he ran out the door.

Tiptoeing down the stairs, although he didn't know why, Deidara's eyes caught sight of his target.

_Hehe! This will be fun!_

Slowly making his way toward the kitchen, he got closer…and closer…and closer…

While Tobi stood, watching Kakuzu yell over Hidan relaxing on the couch, he shook his head.

_Silly Hidan and Kakuzu, _he thought, when suddenly he was grabbed from behind.

"**GOT YOU!" **The voice yelled.

"**AHHH! ENEMY SHINOBI ATTACKING!"**

Kakuzu and Hidan immediately spun around in attack mode. Only to glare at Deidara.

_Wait? Deidara? _They thought, surprised.

"HAHAHAHAHAHA!" Deidara laughed loudly, yet not letting go of his tight grip.

Tobi gasped. "Dei…dara?" he asked nervously, slowly tilting his head behind him.

"Hey! Tobi! You really gotta relax! Geez. I'm not the enemy! Hahaha," Deidara smiled as he let go.

Tobi quickly spun around as he faced the blond bomber, taking a few steps back, making sure he was a good few feet away from the Akatsuki bomber.

"Did…you…just…_hug _Tobi?" Tobi asked awestruck.

Hidan was staring, mouth hanging open in shock at the scene in front of him while Kakuzu's eyes bulged, staring at the scene in front of him, in disbelief.

"Yup!" Deidara smiled proudly.

Tobi looked dumbstruck.

Suddenly, Hidan grinned.

And in just three seconds…

"Does Deidara finally…LIKE Tobi?" Tobi uttered unbelievingly.

"You bet Tobi!" Deidara smiled broadly.

Tobi was dead silent.

Then…

"YAY! TOBI'S DREAMS HAVE FINALLY COME TRUE!" Tobi jumped up and down in joy before jumping onto his partner, sending them both tumbling to the ground.

Tobi looked uncertainly at his partner until Deidara burst out laughing. Overjoyed, Tobi laughed along with him.

"**WHAT…IN THE HELL…IS GOING ON?" **Kakuzu's deep voice demanded from above them.

Both looked up to see the stitched up nin glaring down at them.

"Nothing Kakuzu-san!" Tobi happily exclaimed.

"**I know**_** you're**_** being completely normal. But YOU Deidara," **Kakuzu glared at Deidara. **"What the hell are **_**you **_**doing?"**

"Huh?" Deidara looked up at him confused. "We're just having some fun Kakuzu, hehehe," Deidara put on a loopy grin.

Kakuzu's bulging eyes immediately spun in Hidan's direction as he glared at the Jashinist.

"**What the **_**hell**_** did you do to him Hidan?"**

"What the hell did **I **do? There you go again! Blaming me for things that aren't my fault!"

"**That's only because it always **_**is **_**your fault, Hidan. Taking us off our path **_**every **_**mission for your idiotic religion, or destroying precious bounties beyond recognition for your damn ritual!"**

Before Hidan could reply with an outburst, Deidara exclaimed, "HEY! I KNOW! WE SHOULD ALL THROW A PARTY!"

No one said a word as Hidan and Kakuzu kept glaring at each other. Then Hidan's lip curled into a smile.

"Well…I gotta go…" The Jashinist stood up, getting ready to leave. "You know…Things to do in all-"

**SLAP!**

Hidan's hand was snatched in Kakuzu's hard grip as the Jashinist tried to pull away.

"Get your hands off me you filthy heathen!"

"**Shut up Hidan and fix this mess. I know you caused it."**

"What the hell are you talking about you fucking ass!"

"**THIS you idiot!" **Kakuzu pointed a finger at Deidara, looking confusedly from one Shinobi to the other.

"Deidara? He seems fine to me," Hidan replied calmly.

"**I am not playing this game with you Hidan…**_**Fix him**_** or I'll inform Leader Pein that our next mission will actually be completed on time as we won't have any **_**rituals **_**to do along the way. Since you won't have those precious items back by then anyway…"**

"**You wouldn't dare…" **Hidan glared dangerously at his partner.

"**I'll do as I please Hidan. So shut up and get going. Reverse whatever it is you did," **Kakuzu stood up as he walked out the kitchen.

"**Damn that heathen prick!" **Hidan shouted as he sat down angrily on a chair by the kitchen table.

_Ts! Even if I __**wanted **__to reverse this, but I sure as hell __**won't **__cuz it's too much fun, and I don't fucking know how I could get him back to normal…_

…

Sasori was minding his own business. Working on a new poison he was sure would cause pain tenfold in his enemies until he felt a figure appear at his doorway whose chakra signature he immediately recognized as his partner's.

"**What do you want brat?" **He grumbled.

Deidara said nothing.

Just stepped closer.

_Huh! That brat __**better be quiet**__ or I'll-_

"**HA!"** The blond yelled as he unexpectedly wrapped his arms around the puppet master's torso, embracing him in a tight hug while simultaneously stunning the wide-eyed sand shinobi.

"HELLO SASORI! HOW ARE YOU?" Deidara cried happily.

Glaring his eyes furiously, Sasori angrily flung the Iwa-nin off him as Deidara hit the wall nearby with a _crack!_ Sasori loomed over him, glaring with a look of pure rage at the blond bomber that could _literally _kill.

"**WHAT IN THE **_**HELL **_**DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING DEIDARA?!" **he yelled, his eyes a blazing red.

Deidara just cocked his head to the side as he looked at his partner, confused.

"_Huh?"_ Deidara looked at his partner with unfocused eyes.

Sasori took one, dangerous step forward, his piercing glare still pinned on his partner.

"**I SAID…WHAT…DO YOU **_**THINK…**_**YOU'RE DOING..." **he growled in a low, dangerous voice.

Deidara looked up blankly at him, then suddenly put on a wide, goofy grin.

"Giving you a hug of course, danna!"

Sasori was about to give his brat of a partner a piece of mind_, or tail_, before he abruptly stopped in his tracks as he noticed his partner's eyes.

They were not their usual bright blue, but clouded and unfocused with a glint. Sasori frowned as he raised Deidara's eyelid, taking a closer look at the blond with scrutiny. He also noticed his skin was a bit clammy with a little perspiration. Narrowing his eyes to meet Deidara's, who slowly managed to focus his own eyes on the puppet master, Sasori demanded, "**What-happened-to you?" **

"_Say what?" _Deidara smiled.

Sasori clenched his hands into fists to prevent him from punching his partner into a bloody pulp.

"_**I said…What…the hell…happened…to you?" **_he asked again with a growl, quickly losing his patience.

"Oh! I um…I uh…hmmm….I don't know!" Deidara smiled.

Knowing this wasn't going to get him anywhere, the suna-nin stood up. Doubting the blond would do this to himself, he knew the only likely explanations were enemy shinobi or a prank by one of the other members. Given Deidara was fine just yesterday and hadn't been on any missions, nor did any Shinobi have the slightest idea where their hideout was, the only likely explanation was a member here. Or a more narrowed down possibility: Hidan or Tobi.

Without a word, Sasori grabbed Deidara's arm as he dragged the stumbling bomber behind him, out the door.

"Where are we _g-going_, _Sasssori?"_ Deidara slurred with a loopy grin.

"**To get you back to normal…"** Sasori replied gruffly.

_Or as normal as a psychotic terrorist bomber can get..._

….

"I hope Zetsu is doing well! Tobi is so worried!" Tobi paced in the kitchen as Hidan sat on a nearby couch, watching TV, when suddenly the door heading toward all the members rooms swung open as a very angry looking Sasori came out with an iron grip on a tripping blond bomber behind him.

"Deidara!" Tobi exclaimed happily. "I thought we were playing hide and go seek! Tobi looked everywhere for you!"

"Hahaha. I quit that game a while ago Tobi, hehe" Deidara giggled.

"**Alright, everyone shut up! Now I want some answers and I want them **_**now**_**. What the hell happened to Deidara?" **he demanded.

"Tobi doesn't know Sasori! Deidara suddenly hugged Tobi and said that he liked him!" Tobi positively beamed.

"I didn't say **_that…" _**Deidara muttered before losing his balance and almost face planting on the floor had Sasori's strong grip not been holding his arm up, jerking Deidara back. Blinking his eyes to get rid of the spots everywhere, he looked over at Sasori with a smile and said, "_Thanksss…partner…"_

Sasori gave his partner an annoying glance before looking around the room. Spotting Hidan he ordered, **"Hidan. Get over here."**

"Why? What the hell do you want?" The zealot replied testily.

"**I said get over here. Before I make you…" **Sasori threatened as his tail slowly rose from the ground.

"Ts! You can't hurt me…"

"**If I recall, you're immortal…Not immune to poisons…."**

Hidan paused for a moment before getting up with a, "Fine bastard!" as he walked toward Sasori.

"What?" he snapped.

**SLAP!**

"Ow! What the fuck Sasori!" Hidan held onto his now throbbing cheek.

_**Damn that tail…**_Hidan thought.

"**What-**_**did you do-**_**to Deidara?" **Sasori demanded.

"Why are you blaming me? I didn't do anything!"

"**It's either you or Tobi. And I doubt Tobi could even **_**think **_**of anything that could do harm to **_**any **_**Shinobi."**

"I don't know what the fuck you're talking abou-"

**BAM! **Sasori's tail slammed the Yuga-nin against the wall, now squeezing the life out of Hidan's neck as the shocked Jashinist gasped for breath.

"**I'll ask once more…"** Sasori glared. **"What…did you do…**_**to my partner?"**_

"I….." Hidan managed to get out. "Nothing bastard! I just added some of Zetsu's powder…to his…drink…ack…"

"Hidan!" Tobi cried in horror. "How could you steal Zetsu's medicine?"

Sasori's eyes bulged for a split second before tightening their grip on Hidan, his attention turned back to the Jashinist as he asked venomously, _**"What kind of medicine Hidan?"**_

"I…..don't know….just thought….it might…be funny…."

"**You thought that dealing with a drugged up Deidara would be **_**funny?"**_

Hidan was silent for a moment, thinking, when it hit him. "Haha…well I…_ack_…knew it might be humorous to some extent…but didn't know it'd be _this _funny-"

**SLAM!** Sasori slammed the Jashinist against the now broken wall as he turned to face Tobi while Deidara looked on in shock at Hidan.

"**Where is he Tobi?"**

**_It seems he's the only competent one I can ask…_**Sasori thought.

"If you mean Z-z-Zetsu, Sasori, he is in bed," Tobi replied nervously. "But Tobi was going to bring him some soup, so Sasori can come with T-T-Tobi..."

"**Fine. Let's go," **Sasori replied, hulling the blond bomber along as Deidara looked on at the unconscious Hidan and asked quietly, "Is he alright?"

….

Zetsu was having a wonderful dream. One that involved bunnies and kittens, and arms. _Lots and lots of arms…_It was like a dream come tru-

**BANG!**

Zetsu immediately opened his eyes as he sat up in his bed. Instantly regretting this action, he held onto his aching head as he lay back down, turning away from the noise, and putting a blanket over his head.

"_Tobi, could you please be a little quieter? _**Unless you don't want to live the next second…"**

"Tobi is so sorry Master Zetsu! But Deidara accidentally had some of your medicine and now he needs help!"

Zetsu frowned at his subordinate's words as he turned to face him. Looking up he noticed Tobi kneeling right beside his bed while a very angry-looking Sasori stood glaring down at him while keeping an iron grip on his partner, who seemed a bit out of sorts.

"_What are you saying __has __happened?" _He asked suspiciously.

"**That idiot, Hidan, gave my partner some of **_**your **_**medicine. Now what I want to know is why he chose **_**that **_**particular item. What are the side effects of it?"**

"_Oh dear…That *cough* *cough* doesn't sound good at all…I'm afraid I *cough* can't help you with that. That medicine is only for __**me.**__ If someone like __**him**__ were to take it…I'm afraid I don't know what would *cough* happen…" _Zetsu replied weakly.

"**Thanks for nothing," **Sasori growled as he turned around.

"_Sorry I could not be of more help Sasori, *cough* *cough*."_

"**If he dies…let **_**us**_** take care of the body *cough* *cough*…"**

"**A lot good **_**he **_**was,"** Sasori growled as he left the room.

"It isn't Zetsu's fault Sasori! He only knows what works for _him,"_ Tobi said in defense of his partner.

"Well then, what would be an overdose for a _man-plant, _then?" Sasori glared at Tobi.

"Um…Tobi doesn't know…Oh! Maybe the writing on the side of the bottle the powder was in says something!"

Sasori almost face palmed himselffor not checking there first. But instead asked, **"Why didn't you check it earlier?" **Tobi opened his mouth to reply to be met with, **"Never mind. Let's go."**

After reaching the kitchen once again, Sasori asked, "Which one is it Tobi?"

"Um…this one Sasori!" Tobi held out the bottle for the Suna**-**nin.

Grabbing hold of it, Sasori read the back.

Sighing, he placed it down.

"Great. _**Just terrific,"**_ he growled.

"What? What does it say, Sasori?" Tobi asked eagerly.

Sasori threw the bottle his way as Tobi fumbled for it in his hands while Sasori thought of what to do next.

"Side effects include euphoria, dizziness, fainting, vomiting. Oh my goodness Sasori! This doesn't look good at all!"

"What did you expect?" Sasori growled.

"_Ohhhh…" _Deidara moaned.

Sasori looked down at his barely standing partner.

Rolling his eyes he said, "We'd better get him to lie down somewhere. But first we'll see Kakuzu."

"Oh yes Sasori! That's a great idea!" Tobi cheered.

…

Kakuzu was a man of simple tastes.

Or rather _one _simple taste.

Money.

And he was doing his favorite activity.

Counting money.

Nothing kept him more at peace, especially from his insane partner, and nothing kept him more preoccupied either. Because when he wasn't getting a bounty, he was bored as-

**BANG!**

Glaring at whoever dared to barge into his room he was met with a very irritated Sasori holding a very faint-looking Deidara by the arm, with Tobi nervously standing nearby.

"**So…you've finally brought him here?"** He asked.

"We have. Is there anything you can do about it?"

This was _not _what Kakuzu wanted to do, but ended up saying, "Fine. Lay him down here," he said, gesturing toward the table in the center of the room.

Setting his partner down, Sasori watched as Kakuzu examined his barely conscious partner. After a few minutes time, Kakuzu said, "I only know what you know. Nothing points to a particular antidote. He may just have to let it wear off."

"Great," Sasori grumbled, giving his partner an annoyed glance. Then turning back to Kakuzu asked, "What should he do in the meantime?"

Kakuzu was about to punch somebody. Why does everyone keep thinking he's a medical nin!

"Let him rest….He looks like he'll keel over any instant now," he added, noticing the blond bomber barely hanging onto Sasori's sleeve.

Sasori too glanced down at his partner, who sure enough looked like he was about to pass out any second as he hung limply in Sasori's strong grasp.

"Fine," Sasori replied flatly as he pulled his partner up, causing the Iwa-nin to see spots, only to be pulled in yet another direction as he took very jelloey steps across the floor.

_**DEIDARA'S POV: **_

_Oh man, I feel so fuzzy…Hehehe… _

_Sasori and Kakuzu are talking. Oh wait. They've stopped. Danna's looking down at me. _

_What emotion is that? Oh wait. He doesn't have any. Silly puppet! Hahaha….Whoop!_

_Danna's pulling me somewhere…I don't know where…Oh wait…I think we're in my room…_

"_**Stay still,"**__ I hear Sasori order as he walks away somewhere. _

_Where did he go? Wait? What am I sitting on? Oh my bed. But where did Sasori go? Whoooo knows…Haha. Whooooo noooooseee…Hahaha…._

"_Brat lie down."_

"_No," I say automatically. _

_Hehehe. What's he gonna say now?_

_**THUD!**_

_I feel my head hit a pillow. Looking up I see Sasori glaring down at me._

"_Sasori my maaaan…What'sss going on?" I smile, trying to lift a hand up, but it just feels like jello._

_Jelllo…o…hehe…_

"_What's going** on** is you're a pain in my **ass.** And now you've gotten yourself into another mess..."_

_I frown, confused._

"_I don't…underssshtand…" _

_The room feels like it's spinning..._

"_You will later," Sasori grumbles. _

_Why is Sasori always grumbling? Huh. _

"_Sassssorrri?"_

"_What?" he snaps. _

"_Why are you always so grumpy?"_

"_Why are you always such a pain in my ass?"_

"_Because I'm you're partner," I reply. _

_I don't even know what I'm shhaying anymore. Wordshhhh just keep on comingk outs…_

"_Brat, go to sleep. You need it."_

_Huh? What? I'm not even…YAWN…tired…_

_Just a little bit…longer…and…_

_Zzzzzzzzzzzzzz_

…_._


	2. Hallucinations

**Pixie Sticks And Blond Bomber Mishaps**

_By ilovemyboys_

Chapter 2: Hallucinations

**Authors Note:** Sorry for the Italics being so confusing! I was trying to capture Deidara's drugged up state, but his thoughts are also in Italics. And someone else's voice is at the end...

* * *

_Ohhhh….my head….Ugh…I don't feel so good…_Deidara groaned.

Slowly cracking his eyes open, the blond bomber awoke with a yawn. Sleepily he looked around the room.

"_Where am I?...Oh right…Mine…Huh."_

Gradually getting up from where he was lying, Deidara had barely set his feet on the ground before toppling over onto the ground with a **THUD!**

"_Ohhhh…..That'sss weird…_The blond bomber slurred as he narrowed his eyes in confusion at the floor beneath him. The wood zooming in and out of focus.

Shaking his head, he shrugged, _"Oh well….Un. _As he managed to gather up his strength, Deidara slowly stood up as he made his way toward his bathroom, and looked in the mirror.

"_Oh. Wow… I don't look so good…." _He muttered, pulling down an eyelid, then letting it flop back into place. He then began to comb his springy hair back, willing it to not stick up before he noticed his face looked paler than usual, and dark bags had appeared under his eyes.

"_Must not have slept well last night…."_ He muttered.

Yawning, he dragged his feet across the wooden floor as he made his way toward his door, fumbled with the knob, and eventually got it to open. He then walked toward the kitchen for a good, hearty breakfast, when suddenly he heard a-

"Grrowww…"

"_Huh?"_

Nothing.

"_Oh well," _he shrugged, making his way once more toward the kitchen table.

"_GrrrrOWWW…."_

Frowning, he looked around.

Nothing was in sight.

"_Hmmm…" _Deidara eyed the area around him, glaring from side to side.

_Huh. Tobi probably brought some animal inside the house. Wait'll he wait to hear from Leader Pein about that…_

Deidara grinned at the thought of that idiot being reprimanded. For once!

Deidara suddenly stopped in his tracks with a frown.

_Why didn't that idiot ever get in trouble! With all the crap he pulls, he should have been kicked out of this organization months ago! Well…I guess he's technically not a member, but he still hangs around the Akatsuki. Huh! If the Akatsuki just let anyone hang around them, who knows who could come in as a spy…_

"GrAWWW!"

"_Urrr…TOBI SHUT THAT ANIMAL UP OR I WILL!" _Deidara yelled, immediately cringing at the sound of his own voice as he clutched onto his head.

"_Damn it!" _he hissed, pounding onto on the kitchen table before stumbling into a nearby chair.

Letting out an irritated sigh the blond bomber tried to gather his thoughts.

_What **did** happen last night anyway…I don't remember…Damn it…I don't think I had a drink or I'd be feeling it right-ohhhh…_Deidara groaned as realization hit him.

_I must have had a drink. That's why I feel like such crap. Although it's been awhile since I've had this much to drink. Tobi must have really pissed me off. And Pein won't let me use my bombs in the hideout so…_

"_Better try and get rid of this hangover, un. Let's see now…"_

Scanning the room, Deidara tried to make out anything that would be of use to him at the moment, but found nothing of use whatsoever.

Until he noticed his mug from last night.

"I guess I'll just stick with some tea, un," he shrugged as he made his way over.

…

"Man! Whoever bought this tea is a MASter!" Deidara shouted with a loopy grin plastered on his face as he leaned back into this chair, feet propped up on the table.

"I mean…Who BUYS this sort of BRILLIANCE and not TELL me! Huh! I bet it was TOBI!…That idiot...Not that he'd have any money…" Deidara muttered. "Then again…he probably stole it…From Kakuzu, hahaha. No even he's not that stupid….Huh….I wonder who-"

_**CRASH!**_

Deidara jumped slightly at the noise before hearing, "GET OUT HIDAN BEFORE I CRUSH YOU!"

"WHAT THE FUCK KAKUZU! WHAT'S YOUR PROBLEM! I JUST NEED MY SCYTHE!"

"AND YOU THOUGHT THAT PATHETIC ATTEMPT AT "SNEAKING" INTO MY ROOM WOULD WORK TO GET IT!"

"HELL YEAH IT WOULD HAVE! IF YOU WERE SO PARANOID ABOUT EVERYTHING! YOU DON'T EVEN FUCKING SLEEP, DO YOU YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE!"

Deidara cringed at the noise once again assaulting his head as he stood up to make his leave.

Heading toward the hideout's exit for some fresh air, Deidara performed the necessary hand signs before the rock door opened up to reveal a night, starry sky.

"Oh…Must still be pretty early in the morning…Hahaha…But I'm not tired. Noooo….I'm not!" Deidara smiled before immediately letting it drop as he spoke in all seriousness, "Might as well get some clay though, un."

Stepping out into the cool night air, Deidara made his way toward a nearby stream as he began to look for some of his molding "art."

After about ten minutes of collecting clay, he laid on his back on a patch of grass nearby as he gazed up at the stars.

"_Soooo beautiful…sooooo pretty….A brilliant work of art in the sky every night…" _His eyes looked dreamily up into the night sky before soon drifting off into pleasant dreamland…

_6:00 A.M._

Sasori got up at his usual 6:00 in the morning. He didn't need much sleep being a puppet. Only to replenish his chakra. And as such, felt it to be a waste of time anyway, even when he _did_ have a human body. However, no such thoughts came to his mind as he immediately remembered his drugged partner.

Rolling his eyes at the thought, he slowly made his way toward the blond bomber's room. Noticing no lights were on the room, he assumed Deidara still to be sleeping. Noting that little tidbit, he decided to check on the brat once he woke up. But for now, he would do what he always did. Begin the daily work of working on his puppets.

_11:00 A.M._

Deidara's dreams of villages covered with his art, Akatsuki faces on the clouds above, and the sun as a giant tea kettle, pouring down dangos with Tobi's face to the people below, were interrupted by the animal cries of the morning and the blaring sun beaming down upon his face.

Scrunching up his face in annoyance, the blond bomber groggily opened his eyes before immediately shutting them as they met the bright light. Getting up, he realized that his back was stiff too, and grumbled to himself at his luck.

However, as soon as he stood up, he suddenly felt happy. The sun was out and the day looked beautiful!

_"What a beautiful day for my art!"_ He exclaimed with his arms up in the air, when he quickly remembered the clay he had been gathering earlier that night. Or…morning…He couldn't remember. However, he did remember where he put the pile he collected so far and bunched them all into his clay pouch before sniffing the air once more and exhaling with a sigh and a smile. However, that too was soon interrupted by his growling stomach.

"_Ohhhh…I better eat something_…._Sooooounds great! Hehe! To the hideout I go!"_

…

After ten minutes of skipping along the rocky path, humming various songs of destruction to himself, Deidara stopped at the hideout "door-rock thingy," as he called it, moving his head back and forth to the tune in his head before it opened and stepped inside.

Then, deciding breakfast was in order, walked briskly toward the kitchen and opened the cupboards in search of some food.

_"Hmmm….What's here….Cereal, cereal, where are you cere-oh! Haha. There you are!"_

Setting the box down on the table and getting out a milk and spoon, he sat down and began to eat. Although holding the spoon proved to be a bit more difficult, he shrugged it off.

"GrAWWW…."

Deidara's eyes narrowed in annoyance.

_"Tobi! Get that thing out of here!"_

No response.

_Probably isn't even up yet, huh!_

"Hey. Deidara," a voice called from nearby.

Turning his head to the side Deidara's eyes met Hindan's, as the Jashinist smirked.

"_What do you want, Hidan?"_ Deidara growled as he put another spoonful of cereal into his mouth.

Hidan seemed a bit disappointed, although Deidara didn't know why. It's not like he ever gave the immortalany attention after his complaining.

"Oh nothing…Just wondering how you're feeling this morning…" Hidan trailed off with a smile.

"_What the hell are you talking about, Hidan_?" Deidara muttered as he glared at the Yuga-nin.

_Just get whatever you want off your chest and leave me alone._

"Well don't you seem chipper this morning, Deidara-_chan._"

Deidara's eyes narrowed at the Jashinist as he clutched his hands into fists.

Hindan's grin got even wider.

"_**I'm warning you Hidan…."**_

"What? You gonna bomb me? Don't think Leader Pein would like that."

"**How about you just answer the question! WHAT-DO YOU-WANT?"**

"Ohhhh nothing…Just thought I'd stop by and say hi. Had a pretty busy night last night huh?"

_"What's it to you?"_ Deidara growled.

"Don't you remember?" Hidan teased.

_Oh hell no. Did I get drunk in front of HIDAN of all people? No, I wouldn't be that careless. Hidan must just know I'm hung over and is gonna try to get me to say something I'll regret. Idiot. And yet…two could play at this game… _

"_**Oh I remember…."**_ Deidara trailed off in a dangerous tone. He noticed Hidan's grin falter.

_"But do you honestly think I'd waste my art on anything so trivial? At least…not until the time's right…"_

Before Hidan could reply they were both interrupted by, **"HIDAN! GET YOUR ASS UP HERE NOW!"**

"**FUCK YOU KAKUZU!"** Hidan yelled back.

"**GET UP HERE OR YOUR ROSARY'S GOING ON THE BLACK MARKET!"**

Hidan quickly looked down at his neck to indeed find his rosary was missing. The face of fear itself took over Hidan's body, immediately replaced by pure rage as he sprinted up the stairs, yelling profanities this way and that at his partner as another fight ensued.

Sighing, Deidara finished his cereal before setting it down by the sink. He then took another cup of tea and sat down for a few minutes before he briefly saw Itachi come out of his room and suddenly everything went quiet.

_Ahhh…Itachi's taken care of them…Wait, what am I saying?_

Shaking his head, Deidara took another sip. Then looked up at the ceiling with renewed interest as he stared off into space…

_Why is that ceiling so ugly? _He pondered. _I mean, we could get some money for something better, right? Right Kakuzu-oh he's not here…Ohhhh wellll…..I think I'll…get up…Yeah….Sounds….good…_

Yawning, Deidara blinked a few times to keep awake as he unsuccessfully tried to sit up. Only succeeding the 6th time, he dragged himself back toward his room before hearing-

"GrAWWW…."

Deidara glared.

_"I'm gonna find you…"_ He mumbled, walking toward the direction of the sound he heard as he waited for it to sound again.

…

…

…

Nothing.

"_Huh! Stupid thing won't even_-"

"GrAWWW…"

"_Aha!"_ Sprinting toward the sound, Deidara jumped around a corner, landing on his hands and knees, as he looked around frantically.

_"Where are you…" _Deidara whispered, glared daggers around the hallway he found himself in.

Deciding he'd go look for the thing somewhere else he turned around to-**BUMP! **

As he looked up to see what object decided to place itself between him and the Graw, he came face to face with no other than that bastard Itachi Uchiha, staring him down with calm eyes.

"_What do you want yoooooooouuu…youuuuUchihhhaaaa…"_ Deidara pointed an unsteady finger at the older _Akatsuki member who continued looked down at him with unemotional eyes._

"What are you doing, Deidara?" He asked in that arrogant Uchiha voice of his.

"_What business is it to youuuu, UCHIHAAAA….I'm looking for my Graaaaaaw," _Deidara answered as he continued to look around.

"You're what?" Itachi asked uninterestedly.

"My _Graaaw!_ What are you deaf now, _as well_ as blind! Hmph! Stupid Uchihas…" Deidara muttered under his breath as he began to look under the doors.

Itachi looked on with interest at the blond bomber's strange behavior. He had heard something happened with Deidara and Hidan, but didn't know the details.

Could his be a part of it? He was sure it was. But why was he acting this way….

_"Look! If you aren't going to help me look for Graw, you can leave! **Gooooot it?" **_Deidara glared up at Itachi from the ground.

Itachi said nothing. Then turned on his feet as the left the blond bomber to himself.

"Huh! Good riddance **Uchiha!"** Deidara spat.

_**MEANWHILE: **_

As the pondering Uchiha made his way toward the kitchen for some morning tea, he was met with his partner's greeting.

"Ahhh, Itachi, you're up," Kisame smiled from the kitchen table as he sat down his coffee. "Thought you'd sleep more after using that eye of yours so much yesterday."

"I'm fine," Itachi replied calmly as he served himself some tea and sat down beside his partner. Then asked suddenly, "Do you know what's wrong with Deidara?"

Kisame grinned with a slight chuckle. "You're just asking that now?"

"You know what I mean. Remember what Kakuzu told us when we came back?"

_**FLASHBACK: **_

"**So. You two are back. About time,"** Kakuzu growled as Itachi and Kisame entered the hideout.

"Soooo, you have a mission you can't go on without us being here?" Kisame teased.

"**That has nothing to do with you."**

"Then what happened to that wall?" Itachi asked boredly as they entered the living room.

"**What do you **_**think?**_** That idiot couldn't keep his mouth shut."**

"_Ahhhh_….what did he do this time, then?" Kisame asked. "Stole your money?" Kisame smirked.

"**No. Even **_**he**_** knows better than that. But this time he got Deidara involved…"**

"Deidara?" Kisame asked surprised. "Why am I surprised the hideout is still in one piece, haha."

"**Sasori was there too,"** Kakuzu answered.

"Ahhh, that explains it then," Kisame replied.

"What happened?" Itachi asked.

"**I'm not getting into it,"** Kakuzu growled before a_**CRASH**__!_ could be heard from upstairs.

"**WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING HIDAN!"** Kakuzu yelled.

"**WHY DO YOU ALWAYS ASSUME IT'S ME!"**

"**THAT SOUND BETTER NOT HAVE COME FROM MY ROOM HIDAN…"** Kakuzu warned.

"This looks interesting," Kisame grinned as the argument went on. "Huh? You heading to bed, Itachi?"

"I have no time for this."

_**END FLASHBACK: **_

"Yeah, I remember…" Kisame answered. "I guess we won't know unless someone tells us."

"Hm," Itachi agreed.

_**MEANWHILE: **_

"_Here Graw, Graw, Graw, come here little Graw, hehehe,"_ Deidara giggled as he stumbled down the hallway, following the sound that was becoming more frequent now.

"GrAWW!...GrAWW!" It grawed.

"_Hehehe…You silly Graw you….I'm gonna…GET you...Ha!" _Deidara flung open the door where the Graw was hiding, stumbling over a large desk as he did so.

"_Aha! I FOUND you!"_ Deidara pointed a shaky finger at the creature sitting, or standing, Deidara couldn't tell which, on the corner of the ceiling.

"_Soooo! You're hiding huh? Well! Too can play at THAT game! Un!" _Deidara jumped up at the ceiling but was too late as the creature flew to another side of the room. Once again he jumped. And failed. This happened another four times before he flopped down on the floor.

"_This is tiring…" _Deidara yawned as his eyes slowly began to fade. But not before a dark, ominous, voice asked in a calm, deadly manner,

_"Deidara…What are you doing in my office?"_


	3. Crazy

**Pixie Sticks and Blond Bomber Mishaps**

_By Krista Kangas_

Chapter 3: Crazy

* * *

_Sasori? No…too tall…wait…_

Squinting his eyes once again, the figure slowly came into view, then out again, then in, then out, until the shape finally took the form of…

"_Heeeeey, Leader Pein, what's up?" _Deidara smiled loopily as he looked up at the leader of the world's most dangerous criminal organization, looking down with hawk eyes at his subordinate.

"_How are youuuuu, sir?" _Deidara smiled.

Pein simply looked down at Deidara, without a single emotion coming across his face.

Then he spoke in that same deadly, calm manner.

"_Deidara…What has happened to you?"_

"_Huh?" _Deidara asked, confused.

"_I said…What…has happened…to__** you**_**…."** Pein's voice took on a scarier tone as he took one step closer toward the bond bomber.

"_Ohhhh….I don't know…_" Deidara yawned. "_Sasori was trying to figure that out too…"_ Deidara muttered, feeling sleepy once more. In fact he felt so sleepy that he found himself tipping over as he landed softly on his side, closing his eyes.

"**Deidara." **

The blond bomber's eyes quickly opened as he sat up.

"_Huh?"_

"**What…did Sasori…say?"** Pein ordered.

"_Oh. Um…I think I accidentally had some of Zetsu's medicine or something…" _The Iwa-nin trailed off.

"_And __**how** did you come upon__ that__, Deidara?"_ Pein's tone clearly demanding an answer as he took a step closer.

"_I don't know…" _Deidara looked at the floor, completely oblivious to one of the most powerful and most dangerous Shinobi in the world, staring him down.

"_I think I drank something…." _He muttered.

**"…_Drank_…**something?"Pein asked the clearly, making sure the bond bomber knew exactly what he was saying before the Akatsuki leader closed his eyes and exhaled.

_Sasori. Come to my office at once, _he thought.

It only took 30 seconds before the bulking figure of Sasori knocked on the door.

"Come in," Pein ordered.

"Leader Pein," Sasori bowed his head as he entered the room. "What may I do for-" Sasori stopped dead in his tracks at seeing none other than his partner, sitting like a child on the floor, inches away from LEADER PEIN'S robes!

And he froze.

"_As you can see Sasori, Deidara seems to be a bit…out of sorts…"_ Pein sighed. _"I am hoping you can explain this?"_ The Akatsuki leader asked calmly as he raised an eyebrow at the Suna-nin.

"Yes sir, of course," Sasori nodded. Then pulling himself together he added with a growl, "That idiot Hidan decided to pull a prank on him. Snuck in some of Zetsu's medicine in powder of his into Deidara's drink. He's been out of it since yesterday.." he Suna-nin clenched his knuckles in anger.

_"And you did not think of telling me this…because...?"_ Pein raised an eyebrow at Sasori.

"We did not want to trouble you, sir," Sasori answered quickly.

Pein stayed silent for a moment. Then asked in a firm tone, "What has been done to cure him, Sasori?"

"We've found nothing as of now…It seems he'll just have to deal with these symptoms until it wears off," he growled, not in the least bit happy about dealing with Deidara even more.

"So letting him wander around lose in this state is your idea of _a solution?"_

"No sir. I thought he was sleeping, sir. I'll take him from here, sir, if you wish."

"Has Kakuzu looked him over?" Leader Pein's gaze continued to stare at Sasori, demanding an answer.

"Yes. He said nothing pointed to a particular antidote."

"Very well then…Look after him and wait for it to wear off. I expect results by tomorrow morning." Leader Pein clasped his hands together as he added, "You two may leave now."

"Yes sir," Sasori bowed once more and took Deidara by the arm, dragging the Iwa-nin out the door with him.

"Oh and Sasori."

Sasori turned around to face his leader.

"Yes sir?"

Pein's eyes bored into his as the Akatsuki leader spoke in a low voice, "Don't loose sight of him again. That is the last thing we need around here."

"Yes sir," Sasori bowed as the two partners exited the room.

…

"**You have no idea how lucky you are, Deidara! What are you, suicidal talking to Leader Pein like that? Let alone sneaking into his office!?" **Sasori demanded as he pulled the blond bomber behind him with an iron grip.

"_But Sasori…I was just trying to find the GRAW…" _

"**What the hell are you talking about!?" **Sasori snapped.** "You know what. I don't even want to know."**

"_But Sasssssori….Where are we goooooing?" _

"**Back to your room. Where you belong, brat," **Sasori's replied irritably as he pulled the blond bomber toward his room.

"_But Saaaaasssori…I don't waaaaaant tooo…" _Deidara whined.

"**I don't **_**care **_**what you want. Now shut up," **Sasori replied as he threw open the door and pushed the blond bomber in.

"Now pay attention. I don't want you leaving this room for any reason _**AT ALL.**_I don't care if you see a Grap or whatever you call it-

"_A graw."_

Sasori face palmed. "I don't care what the hell you call it, but you are under **NO CIRCUMSTANCES** to **LEAVE **this room. **DO YOU UNDERSTAND?"** Sasori gave Deidara a glare saying, "you better answer correctly or you'll regret it brat," as Deidara nodded fervently.

"Good. Then stay here and behave while we try to find an antidote for your…situation…"

And with that, the puppet master closed the door behind him with a **_THUD!_ **leaving the blond bomber to his own thoughts.

And clay…


	4. Paranoia

**Pixie Sticks And Blond Bomber Mishaps**

_By ilovemyboys_

Chapter 4: Paranoia

**Authors Note**: I am so sorry this took so long guys! My internet was out for a few days. However! During that time I wrote the rest of this entire story on Word! So no more long waits! Enjoy!

* * *

_Why is Sasori mad? I don't understand….Hmmm…Well at least The Graw will be okay with Leader Pein protecting it…_

…

…_._

_Soooooo boooooored..._Deidara thought as he lay down on his bed, staring at the blank ceiling.

With a sigh he turned his head to the side. And a smile crept onto his face as his eyes connected with his beautiful clay.

Getting up, a little woozy he might add, he walked over toward his work table and grabbed the bag of clay that lay there, bringing it back with him to his bed as he took it out and began molding his favorite shapes.

_MEANWHLE…_

Sasori had just poured a packet of chicken noodle soup for his partner into a pot on the stove and was now stirring the substance when he heard the cheerful tones of Tobi skipping down the hallway.

_Terrific…_

"Helloo Sasori! What a lovely afternoon!" Tobi exclaimed brightly.

"I don't care Tobi. What do you want?" Sasori growled.

"Oh! Tobi just wanted to see how Deidara was doing!"

"Nothing has changed. Except his common sense…" Sasori muttered.

"Hahaha. What does Sasori mean?" Tobi cocked his head to the side.

"Don't worry about it. Now are you going to offer me any useful information on curing Deidara, or are you just to stand there and gawk?" He narrowed his eyes at the masked-nin, already irritated simply by his presence.

"Oh no Sasori! Tobi doesn't know anything…" He hung his head sadly. "But!" He sprang up. "Tobi _does _know that Zetsu-san is getting better, so maybe Deidara will too soon!"

"Yeah, that makes sense…" Sasori rolled his eyes.

"Oh! Sasori! Can Tobi take that soup to Deidara?"

"No."

"Why not?" Tobi complained.

"Because you'll spill it, idiot. And then I'll have to make more."

"But Sasori….Tobi won't-"

"Shut up and go away."

"Uh-oh…okay Sasori…" Tobi hung his head as he walked away.

_Idiot…_

Sasori looked at the now hot soup and poured a bowl for his partner as he headed toward his room.

Slowly opening the door in case his partner was getting his much needed sleep, Sasori was gratefully met with his partner sitting up on his bed, molding some shapes of his precious clay, rather than having run off again. The blond bomber looked up at Sasori and smiled.

"Danna! You've brought me soup!"

Sasori frowned. Already that blond bomber sounded normal again. Well, reasonably normal. Maybe he was getting better….

"Yeah I have. Now put that clay away and eat up."

"Okay!"Deidara smiled as he sat his clay down before taking the soup and gulping it down.

"Ah!"

"Idiot, don't you know to let it cool?" Sasori sighed.

"Haha…Sorry Danna. I wasn't thinking…

_Not the first time…_Sasori added to himself.

"So Sasori!" Deidara suddenly shouted, causing his partner to flinch before shooting daggers at his partner.

"_What?"_ the Suna-nin snapped.

"What mission are we taking today?" Deidara asked happily.

"None."

"Why?"

"You're sick."

"But…I feel fine!" Deidara smiled broadly.

"Exactly. Normally you'd be complaining about _something_ by now…"

"Hahaha…I see Sasori…So what _are _we doing today?"

"_You're _resting. I'm working on my poisons."

"Ohhhhhh, how fun! Can I watch?"

Sasori was getting _reeeeal _tired of his happy-go-lucky Deidara. He preferred the much-out-of-it Deidara to this…

"**No," **he replied firmly as he headed out the door.

"Awwww, but I want to do something _fuuuun…"_ Deidara complained.

_Huh! Yeah right. Fun for that brat would be-_Sasori suddenly froze.

Immediately turning around the Suna-nin grabbed the blond bomber's clay from the bedside, with a cry of protest from Deidara, before leaving, shutting the door with a _**THUD!**_

_There's no way in hell I'm dealing with that blond psycho and his explosions…_

"Sasori!" Deidara called.

But his partner did not come back.

"Oh maaan…Sasori took the rest of my clay…." Deidara looked down sadly at his last piece…

_**MEANWHILE: **_

Sasori was busy working on one of his newest poisons in the quiet of his own room. Although he wouldn't admit it, he _was _trying to find an antidote for his partner first, but simply did not have any ingredients to work with, so settled to do something more productive. It was this productivity that was rudely interrupted by a-

**BANG! BANG! BANG!** "SASORI! SASORI! TOBI HAS GREAT NEWS!" **BANG! BANG! BANG!**

Sasori threw open the door, fuming, with a**, "WHAT THE HELL DO YOU WANT, TOBI!?"**

"ZETSU-SAN FOUND AN ANTIDOTE FOR DEIDARA, SASORI!" Tobi jumped ecstatically.

"What?" Sasori asked, unbelievingly, immediately making his way toward the plant man's room.

"Yes! Yes Sasori! Zetsu-san found an antidote!" Tobi skipped eagerly beside the Suna-nin as they entered Zetsu's room.

**"Well I can't say for sure it's an antidote…" **Dark Zetsu replied irritably as he looked through a microscopic lens. "_However, it is promising…*cough* *cough* According to what we found, it seems that a concoction of this plant of mine may reduce the effects on Deidara's body and mind..."_

"Whatever. As long as it works," Sasori growled.

"**Oh, it will. **_Well he hope it will…"_

"Fine. Then make it," Sasori ordered.

"_We already are…" _White Zetsu gave him a glare. **"Don't rush us…" **Black Zetsu narrowed his eyes at the Suna-nin. "**You're lucky we're even helping you. He would be more worthwhile as lunch for us…**_Don't say that. Deidara is a great asset to this organization. We need him. _**This has nothing to do with one member. But all of them…"**

Sasori rolled his eyes. "Fine. Just get it done as soon as you can. I don't know how much longer Deidara is gonna be in this new, euphoric state of his-"

**BOOM!**

Sasori sighed. **"My point exactly…"**

"On no! Deidara's blown something up! He's in danger!" Tobi shrieked.

"**More like **_**we're in**_** danger. Let's go," **growled Sasori as the two Akatsuki members hurried out the door.

"_You all just go…*cough* *cough*…we'll stay here._ **And don't come back," **Zetsu added with a glare as he locked the door with a _click!_

"Sasori? Um…What do you think Deidara did?" Tobi asked as he trailed alongside the puppet master.

"**Blew something up, what else?"** Sasori snapped.

"But..um…why?" Tobi asked curiously.

"**How should I know! He's insane!"**

"Could it be because he had some of Zetsu's medicine, maybe?" Tobi asked hopefully.

_You have got to be kidding me, _Sasori thought. **"Of course it is!"**

"Oh. Tobi sees then. So…what should Tobi do to help Deidara?"

"I don't know! Why are you asking me-" Sasori stopped. Tobi could very well be useful. They'd need someone to distract Deidara probably while someone gave him the antidote, once Zetsu finally finished it...

"You will be needed after all Tobi…" Sasori spoke.

"Really!" Tobi asked ecstatically. "How can Tobi help, Sasori?"

"I'll let you know when the time comes…For now, let's find him and take him down…He's a danger to everyone else in the base in his state..."

"How do we do that, Sasori?"

Sasori turned to face the masked-nin with a glare. **"Alright Tobi. Listen and listen good."**

_**MEANWHILE:**_

"Oops…well that didn't get the Graw…" Deidara muttered, glaring at the ceiling.

_thump! thump! thump! thump!_

Deidara spun his head behind him.

_Footsteps. Better be careful. Could be an enemy…I'll play it safe for now…_

Quickly hiding behind a nearby wall, the rock-nin brought down his chakra levels and waited.

"_**Alright. You go that way, I'll go this way. Just shout if you find him. Get Kisame and Itachi out here too,"**_ Deidara heard the deep, growly voice of his partner.

_Huh! No chance in hell you'll find __**me **__Sasori. Not when I have a mission to accomplish you just want to take the credit for yourself!_

Upon hearing his partner leave, Deidara ran across the room and into another hiding place.

_I better get this done right. The fact that I missed my target the first time is a disgrace. Although in my defense it suddenly disappeared into thin air…What enemy can DO that-_

"Deiiiiiidarraaaa!"

Deidara cringed at hearing the voice of his 2nd least favorite Akatsuki member call his name.

_That idiot! All this noise will scare away the enemy!_

"Deiiiidaarraaaa! Where are you?"

_On no…Not Tobi! Urrrrgg…I don't have time for this!_

"Deeeeeidaaaraaaa! Where are yo-mmm!" Tobi struggled as a hand suddenly grabbed his mouth from behind, silencing him.

"Shh! Quiet Tobi!" Deidara hissed.

Tobi stopped immediately. Then muffled, "Deiguga?"

Deidara rolled his eyes. "Yes," he muttered irritably, loosening his hold a bit on Tobi's mouth.

"Oh Deidara! Tobi is so glad you're-"

"Shhh! Idiot! What did I just tell you!" Deidara hissed.

"Oh! Sorry Deidara…" Tobi whispered.

Deidara sighed before looking around suspiciously.

"So…have you seen it?"

"Seen what Deidara?" Tobi asked curiously.

"The Graw, what else!" The blond bomber snapped.

"Um…Tobi does not know what that is, Deidara."

"Huh! Figures…you don't know what anything is…"

"Would Deidara mind telling Tobi then?"

"Fine…The Graw is a…" Deidara stopped to think. _What __**was **__it?_

"Well, you'll know it when you see it. There's nothing like it…" Deidara scanned his surroundings.

"Well okay, Deidara!" Tobi smiled. "I will help you find it!"

"Huh! I doubt you'll _help _in any way, but maybe provide a distraction…" Deidara muttered to himself.

"What?"

"Nothing. Just keep quiet-"

"DEIDARA! GET OUT HERE! NOW!" Sasori yelled.

Immediately Deidara grabbed hold of Tobi, once more covering the masked man's mouth.

"Don't…say…a word…" he warned.

Tobi nodded vigorously.

"DEIDARA! GET YOUR ASS OUT HERE NOW!"

Footsteps could be heard and rummaging around in the nearby living room as the duo kept silent as mice.

"Don't think he's here, Sasori…" Kisame spoke.

"That damn brat is out here all right. He's just hiding…" Sasori growled.

"Why do you think so? I thought he was just having hallucinations and looked pretty out of it, hahaha…." Kisame chuckled.

"Who knows why he does HALF the things he does, even when he is in the right…_his _right state of mind…"

"Well whatever the reason…We won't find him like this…And I can't flood the room….Nor can you tear it apart…Leader Pein wouldn't be too happy about that…"

"You think I don't know that?" Sasori narrowed his eyes at the shark man. "We could have easily found him by now, if he was _anywhere _but here! He's too smart for his own good…"

"Well, what do you suppose we do now?" Kisame asked.

Sasori sighed in thought, only to be interrupted by a monotone voice Deidara recognized all too well as his biggest rival and enemy.

"You haven't had any luck?" Itachi asked flatly.

"That kid sure is good at hiding," Kisame answered.

"Maybe you should try another approach."

"And _what _do you exactly have in mind, Itachi?" Sasori growled.

Itachi's eyes glanced around the area. Then said, "Follow me."

As Deidara heard the footsteps of the members walk away, his grip loosened somewhat on Tobi's mouth, as the masked-nin exclaimed in a whisper.

"Tobi gets it now! We're playing hide and go seek!"

"Yes we are. Now shut up. We're leaving," Deidara ordered as they both stood up.

"But-that's against the rules Deidara-"

"Do I _look _like I follow the rules, Tobi?"

"Um….no."

"Then shut up and let's go."

"Okay Deidara!"


End file.
